Good bye to the years.

I remember when I was younger, or when we were all younger. Never in our lives did we believe we would experience real pain. Not the broken arm or fractured ankle. But broken hearts.
The pain that never really goes away, the cuts that only scab.
At this moment, I feel emotional. So much seemed to have struck me in a matter of days. And now I'm overwhelmed, with no one to share the load. Though I'm only, barely, seventeen. I have realized so much, I observe. People may say 'things just go through my head', they are so wrong.
I take everything in, I remember everything that matters. Every perfect moment, every insulting word. Vaulted. I'm not so dim as you may take me as.

As I have sat here, on my couch, in my car, or laying in my bed till all hours of the night, heart beating at an pace I could never count. There is much I have thought about, obsessed over.
I put my whole heart into some people, the ones that really matter, and hope it does not get crushed. I could be overbearing, I could read to much into it, or not let it go.
But when you put your whole heart into something, would you not be the same way?
I have a big heart, I may make many mistakes, say stupid things, make a fool of myself, and be a royal pain. But I have a big heart. And when I say I love you. Part of me if not all of me, will love you for the rest of my life.

Goodbye high school. Goodbye to those that used to matter. Goodbye to me.

Final year. I have to grit and bare it, wait for my life to start. The bills, the responsibility, the agreement that your no longer mommy's little girl, you are your own woman.
Excitement stirs in my peers, when I'm casting a shadow.
And on that final day, when we throw our hats in the air, hug each other, and smile so wide our faces may split. Ill stand there and cry. I will walk through the halls letting my feet memorize the ground and my fingers hold onto the walls. So years from now, they will all know.
I was here. Part of me, will always be here.

Memories are fading, friendships are disappearing. What happened to friendship bracelets, secrets just our own, and best friends forever? It left with the night.
I may spill my heart to one person, and soon, five people know my confessions.
Assumptions made become the talk of the town, she is anorexic, she is bulimic, he is gay, he said he would only stay with her if she wore those kind of clothes, she is such a whore. True story. These are words that have filled my ears.

From young children, we were taught respect and discipline. Do what your told, and the bad wont come to you. Brush your teeth, eat your vegetables, clean your room. Now we all have a new type of cleaning up to do.

When in reality, we are all victims of the morals instilled in us. From our parents teachings, to that big purple dinosaur reffered to as Barney.
We all need to make our own mistakes to grow. You have to take the bad with the good, the break ups, the bad times, the arguments. Tears your swimming in, anger your lost in.
Errors, help with our corrections. Make us stronger, make us weaker.

" I love to do the things the censors won't pass."
" If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere."
" Well behaved women rarely make history "
~ Marilyn Monroe

What happened to our regard, and self respect.
Girls striving to be thin, counting calories, lessing meals every day. I myself, know I have become a victim of this horror.

Caught up on apperances, what we should be, whether than who we are.
Yourself isnt good enough, be more like him, strive to be like her.
Soon we will no longer be a race of individuals, but only a cult of clones.


Good bye to individuality. Good bye to what we once knew. Good bye to innocence.

Good bye to the years
Hello to the horror.